Don’t Believe Your Own Hype-Come Out of Your Comfort Zone

Womenlines welcomes ANJI HALLEWELL as an Influencer of Positive Mindset on the Womenlines panel. Anji is a Natural Strengths Coach, Trainer, and Founder of Hidden Lava. In her sharing for this month, Anji is talking about the importance of not believing in self hype-

The more you work with human behaviour and the inner workings of the mind, the more fascinating it becomes. The learnings seem infinite; no matter how much you learn there is always more to know! I notice more and more, my self-included, how destructive we can be with our own desires, aspirations and dreams.

An acquaintance recently shared how they have been working towards a change in career. It sounded like things were going great and that she had built some quick momentum to get closer to her end goal. Yet, what she shared with me next was so counter-intuitive, it made me very curious to explore what was responsible for such a sudden change in direction. As it was now clear that any momentum she had built was in imminent danger of being wiped out in one decision. Yet, it may not be the exact same subject matter, but people all over the globe are replicating the same thing in their lives. You set your sights on going for something important to you, you make progressive steps towards it and then something changes to pull the rug out from underneath you. There is a tipping point that appears and if you allow it too, it takes you away from the very goal that you were working towards.

I’ve experienced many tipping points in my life, of which I would best describe as wobbles, from romantic relationships to career changes of my own. One side of me has been very pro something and yet, something else kicks in to reverse that moment of clarity. Suddenly, fear and doubt kick in to override my desire; to stop me from achieving what it is that I felt compelled to do. This, my friends, is self-sabotage at work. It takes courage to step out of your zone of familiarity and decide to make meaningful changes in your life. And, even at the time, it is both exciting and terrifying simultaneously, but your desire outweighs your fear and it is that which pushes you through. It’s courage in its purest form.

As with my acquaintance, the early success acts as a proof of concept. If you apply logic, you would say that the small successes make it easier to continue down your newly chosen path. Well, sadly, the very forces that kept you in your area of comfort for so long are not going to give up that easily. Once you step away from it, your overprotective guardian, aka your resistance, will do what it can to draw you back in. I can imagine a condescending parental voice, “Come on. You’ve had your fun, now come back inside. You don’t know what will happen to you out there.” the voice of fear said. It’s ironic that making your dreams a reality is something that you fantasise about, yet you are totally capable of achieving them if you got out of your own way. Or rather, you knew how to get out of your own way! We know that it’s possible as others have successfully walked down their newly trodden path. They too will talk about courage and inner strengths that kept them on track.

The heart will whisper and the inner critic will bellow, but you needn’t listen to the loudest. The trick here is not to believe your own hype. So, choose courage over fear, purpose over doubt and truth over anger to stabilise the path as you carve it out.

Anji Hallewell

Coach, Trainer & Founder

+65 8408 5042